Sudden Lurch In My Heart

An email from Carol, hi R, I’m back in London, shall we meet up. I’ll be staying in my mother’s apartment at the Chelsea Waterfront this weekend, why don’t we meet up say twelve o’clock Saturday by the boats, we can have lunch or something. Carol x.

Responding, great see you there, R x.

The day arriving. Getting up, looking out the window, studying the weather, a daily act of cleansing. Skies cloudy, occasional bursts of sunshine, breeze whipping into new foliage.

Shaving, clicking in a new blade. Brushing my hair, carefully. Dressing, jeans and shirt artfully selected, glancing in the mirror, changing the shirt. Conventional leather lace-up shoes, slightly scuffed, don’t want to be trying too hard. A light parka, waxed cotton, battered but still with good shape.

Standing on the waterfront, leaning against the guard rail, watching the water. The surface choppy, the occasional fleck of white foam at waves’ tips. Gulls wheeling and shrieking. The sky now mostly blue, sunshine saturating. A general air of desolation, crowds held indoors by the gusts.

A sudden pressure on my arm, hi handsome. Turning, seeing Carol. Smiles breaking out on both our faces. A sudden lurch in my heart, she’s so pretty, somehow much prettier than in my memory. Hugging her, giving her cheek a kiss. Some threshold crossed, doesn’t matter what happens now, in some crucial way, we’re lovers.

Strolling down the waterfront, chatting, trying not to smile too much. Her skin glowing, fresh from Mexico and now in London’s ripe spring. Unruly hair flicking in the breeze. Difficult not to take her hand. Restrained from doing so by not knowing who might be watching, maybe someone she knows. The restraint making the impulse stronger.

Carol stopping, looking at me. Hey R, I’ve left something in the apartment, I need to get it, I can meet you down here again, or you can come up if you want.

Walking with her to her block. Carol swiping a card, the block's outer door opening. That distinctive feel, another person’s life taking on fuller shape as you discover how they live. Up one flight of stairs, casual walk, casual talk, both of us knowing that something significant’s happening. Carol unlocking her door, inviting me in.