Cross My Heart And Hope To Die

Drawn onto my bicycle by London’s unseasonably hot weather, pounding out laps round Regent’s Park, thinking about Jane and her sex-party, thinking I must email her, but not sure what to say, anything would seem a bit tame compared to her escapades.

Unless of course I tell her about Jenny and the supermodel and all the other secret women in my life. I’ll have to think further about that.

Getting home, pink-faced from the heat. Showering, sitting at my computer, still wondering what to say to Jane, then seeing my inbox, another email from her.

Hey, R, i know i’m doing a lot of emailing, but there’s a lot on my mind and you’re the only one i trust, if i tell a local friend what i’ve been doing then it won’t be five minutes and everyone will know and i’ll be renowned as the harlot. i could talk to A and his new wife, i finally found out her name, it’s C, but i don’t want them to get any closer to my inner thoughts, not just yet.

So R, that means that you’re my priest and therapist and counselor, no change from school and university days i guess. in fact, let’s pick it up from those days, i’ll tell you my secret stuff and hopefully you’ll tell me yours, that would be really great, come on R, tell me one of your sexual secrets, cross my heart and hope to die if anyone else ever finds out, i’ve never shared our confidences with a single soul in the past and won’t in future.

You know what, R, now i think about it, having a secret of yours would make me feel like i’m not the only one with a wild side, here i’m surrounded by suburbia and respectability, it’s driving me crazy, and entering this new sex-party demi-monde makes me feel schizoid, i need to live with both parts of me, you help me do that, secrets of yours would help me more.

Meanwhile even without that, R, i hope you don’t mind if i still use you as confidant, i need to get it out of my head. you see the thing is, R, i can’t stop thinking about that sex-party and the man’s dick in my mouth and how good it felt, A and C are going to get in contact again and when they do i’m pretty sure i’ll tell them that i’m game for more of the same.

There we are, i’ve made my confession, not only was i a harlot that one time at the sex-party but i’m resolved to be a harlot again, no past tense about it, it’s my present state and future intention. and i feel like it’s a metamorphosis, i’m becoming a different person. and it’s so liberating.

Anyway, R, email soon. your sweetheart Jxxx.