Hey R, well, your email touched some soft spots, days and nights wrapped up together, cunnilingus on demand, i was worried i’d wear your tongue out. sex for me has always been a big thing, but somehow it doesn’t feel complete without a long love session between clitoris and tongue, penetration’s only fun once that’s been done. so it’s annoying that i don’t damn well get any.
What i should have done, R, was not get married. it never felt right, and i could see all my married friends looking unhappy with their husbands, that’s after the first two years or so of pretending that it’s all idyllic. but you get so damn lonely, and you start thinking, this is the best i’m going to get, i’m getting older, mr right’s never going to happen, just accept mr all right, that kind of bullshit.
And of course our whole value system seems to see marriage as the big deal, ushering in perpetual happiness, or at least treating any subsequent problems as secondary. pop songs, plays, novels, everything, they all end with marriage or the prospect of it. or death. i think it’s because they need to end somehow, and that’s the convention. so life imitates. except that the imitation wears thin quickly, and then there’s nothing in our social mores to guide us.
Well, R, i agree with you, it’s not worth splitting up, you either land up lonely again or with another disappointment, i can see that from my friends who’ve tried. and i’ve noticed that T’s better now that i’ve ceased my sexual expectations, he’s at least someone to come home to, and he can be good with the children. so i’m on the lookout for a man to have an affair with, preferably a long term one, preferably one with a lot of cunnilingus. a shame you’re not in australia. but when we do meet up, yes please to your offer, let’s do it. here’s to sixty-nineing, R. love you forever, Jxxx
