Sex Sort Of Slid Off The Agenda

A dinner party, just my wife and I and another couple, Peter and Bella, at their house. The door opened by Bella in disheveled state, eyes red from weeping. My wife hugging her, leading her to a sofa, sitting her down, sending me to get her a glass of water, stroking her hand.

The story emerging between sobs. Picked up Peter’s phone, looked at his recent calls, not sure why she did it. Saw a number, dialed it. A young girl with foreign accent answering, hello darling, hearing Bella’s voice, ending the call. Bella confronting Peter. A confession duly extracted, yes, just this once, he rang a number from an internet site, curiosity only, wouldn’t dream of going through with it. Bella unbelieving. Peter storming out, gone she knows not where.

My wife talking softly, reassuring, absorbing the hurt. Me, watching, admiring her skills, annoyed that she has to do this, she does it enough at work, there’s no energy to spare.

Bella’s misery drizzling on. How could Peter do it? The very thought of a prostitute, sordid and degrading. Grabbing a cushion, pulling it to her tummy, wailing. Me awarding myself points out of ten for putting up with it, also for curbing my irritation at her histrionics, thinking, she’s getting a sliver of enjoyment out of this, holding centre stage. The longer I stay cool, the more points I get.

Thinking, escorts, sordid and degrading, how would you know, Bella? Ask an expert, namely me. Some are, some definitely aren’t, maybe I should introduce you to Jenny, she isn’t, in fact, this scene with you now is far the more sordid and degrading.

Also thinking, I remember last time I was with you a remark you made, something about how after the first two years of marriage, sex sort of slid off the agenda, it’s the natural order of things. Well, maybe Peter had other ideas. Maybe Peter thought, if you think like that, maybe he should get his sexual needs met elsewhere, that’s also the natural order of things.

Also thinking, Peter, my friend, rookie mistake, what the hell were you doing leaving an escort’s number on your mobile phone, if you’re going to maintain separate selves you need to manage the boundaries. Now look what you’ve done, caused unnecessary pain, nobody had to know.

Pouring myself a beer. One hour down, five points out of ten. Another hour of this, I get ten out of ten and give myself permission to leave the women to it.