Ann and James

A lovely couple, Ann and James, meeting up with my wife and me at a restaurant, one other couple also there. A pleasant evening, wine, laughter, fun. She, auburn hair, well kept, probably attractive to other men but for some unknown and unknowable reason not to me. He, urbane, slightly overweight.

Only learning later of their background, she an heiress, he a surgeon, two talented children, a perfect marriage. At the time, unaware of all this, merely thinking of them as being cordial rather than warm with each other.

Two years passing, forgetting about it. Then chatting with the other couple, she saying, oh, did you hear, Ann and James, that couple at that restaurant that time, they’re splitting up. Oh yes? Yes, difficult, James met a younger woman, ran off with her.

Nothing unusual in that. The striking thing, Ann’s response. Ann’s view, what a thoughtless, stupid idiot James is. Why didn’t he just have an affair? If he wants one, please, go ahead. Not much physical happening between us anyway.

But now look what he’s done. For a fleeting passion, probably over in what, one, two, five years, he’s destroyed what’s taken fifteen years to build. Now we have to fight over assets, we waste a lot of time, our lawyers get rich, our children get poor, and everyone has to take sides.

Ann apparently telling the world, what James is too boneheaded to understand is that marriage is about economics not lovey-doveys. Who cares if he occasionally has to fondle someone else? Just keep it out of my life. And preferably stop fondling me.

All four of us shaking our heads at life’s strange paths. Me thinking, Ann’s exactly right. Who the hell cares? Just keep it out of your wife’s life. Which you can only do if you don’t raise the subject.

It's lips that need to be kept zipped.